Random Thoughts...

Someone at the lunch table in the canteen said this today. Every man's struggle starts with the most basic of the needs, he dreams of having the best meal on the plate everytime and suddenly somewhere, that very meal becomes the last priority of his life.

How many have I seen skipping lunch or going too late to the canteen for biting the leftovers? Too many. May be oneday, someday, not too far away we will have lunch, dinner and sleep "enabled" by our "To do lists". May be reminders on the MS Outlook would "support" us well or even SMS from our service provider who cares more about us than we do ourselves! Value-added services, else business is lost!

Militancy, Governments, Children and Mahatma

Militants,
States and empires,
Blood sucking vampires,
Innocence assumed,
One more magazine loaded,
An announcement made,
Dogs can have the dead humans’ bones,
Humans wait,
Our food isn’t yet born,
We are still searching,
Lets get on first with some more killing.

Airplanes,
Feeding new found bombs,
Shelling stale breadcrumbs,
Right next to human carcass,
Peace,
Brief,
An unknown face,
Lying adjacent,
A known disease,
He’s hit by a raining bullet,
Children shrill,
Women cry,
Men, no idea!
Some buried, some fled,
Some, may be burying a few more dead,
Some wanting a little more blood shed.

Right to live,
Snatched away,
Right to kill,
Is the world’s new way?
It’s here to stay?
Encased in a silent cage strong,
Another child grows wrong,
A militant is newly born,
Picks up a gun,
Points at the world, aimless
A grudge purposeless,
Another story wanderlust.

TV,
Solemnly propagates,
A few gruesome videos,
A few talk shows,
Our lust to display,
A false mercy,
Follows duly,
A tear is dropped,
At most two,
A calm phrase uttered,
Quite untrue,
“I wish I could offer some help”
“Anyways, how cool looking is my new denim?”

“Make merry”,
“Happy birthday”,
“A few were slaughtered just yesterday”
“Oh!”
“Anyways, lets go”
At a drunken revelry,
Fake smiles present,
At a far away distance,
Peace is absent,
So trivial,
Death of another million?
Moods jovial?
Comfortable oblivion?
Time being,
Happiness satiated,
Hungry teeth,
Still searching,
Permanent hatred is growing,
In the shape of a monster, Frankenstein.

In future,
We’d have no shelter,
A child’s birth,
Besides his father’s death,
Everyday,
Sun peeps in,
The world screens the child a movie,
On the theatre of a sordid life,
Night falls, Sleep vanished,
What do we expect of him?
Placid recital of holy hymns?
Nursery rhymes
Of lists of crimes,
He’s survived in the shadows,
Of retribution and a rusted gun,
A loaded one,
Peace on earth,
While he’s seen hundreds of abject deaths.

The difference,
Between a militant and a soldier,
A constitution and a law?
Is just a uniform?
Just a licensed gun and a nuclear bomb?
Who gave them the license to kill?
God?
Terrorist and anti-terrorist,
Signing raw deals,
Of silent killing,
Of civilians weak,
No escape,
From both the clutches,
No backdoor exits exist.

Face it,
A vicious cycle,
For ever,
Don’t you yelp,
Not even the omnipresent can help,
Our lost words,
Even before they halt at our own ears,
No echoes,
Death followed by death,
Credit cards won’t buy another breath,
No sound trace,
Eternal silence,
Humanity buried,
Six feet under…

Hey world,
I have an angry question,
Can you buy me life with someone’s death?
Will you survive a chemical breath?
Hey world’s dearest children,
Pay attention,
Listen,
Let me take you back in time,
Tell you a story of a man so fine.

Thirty crore slaves,
And merciless distant masters,
A few masters were killed,
A few slaves were murdered,
The cycle repeated,
And slavery endured,
Then stood a man,
Hunched back and frail looking,
No sophisticated gun,
No wasting bombs,
He stood strong and aplomb,
Patience, perseverance, Silence,
In our words,
A huge project delivered,
Indian Independence!
Weapon of choice,
How Silly?
Your belief belied?
Was simple truth and nonviolence?
Would we call him a fool?
If he is born today?
In your annals of crumpled,
Long forgotten history,
That victorious warrior,
Is called Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi!

Is his story to be shunned?
Or is there a lesson to be learnt?
Even when we know, why do we pretend?
Isn’t his way the Hobson’s choice,
That’ll let the world go stunned?
Lets condemn killing of a human being,
He may be a Pathan in Afgan,
Or a resident of Iraq or Palestine,
Or the one in the Mumbai train,
Or the one in Lebanon,
All of them dead in vain,
Killed may be by the militants,
Or even by our very own Governments.

A flower’s lament

Offered at places of your worship,
And as wreaths at your graves,
Adorning your trysts and courtship,
My sacrifice, how many more days?

Don’t you have any mercy?
Can’t you be a little kind?
Don’t I look happy?
When I’m still alive?

Can’t you let me blossom slow?
When did you turn so blind?
Won’t you let me toss when the wind blows?
And spread fragrance around?

You nip me & strip me,
Bind me in entwined yarn,
Why not let me be?
Just the way I am.

A mountain of grief,
It’s the fate of a virgin flower,
But the tear drops on the leaf,
You mistake for the morning dew or shower!

Psychotic Trance

I heard my pounding heartbeat slow,
Faintly though,
A sudden halt, a crescendo,
Someone was performing a depressing melody,
Just a few miles away, may be,
A near silent rhythmic score,
Followed by screams of encore...encore,
Someone said, "Come on in",
A clear thumping,
Someone was approaching,
Something was heavily pouring,
It smelt like flesh,
And warm blood - home delivered - garden fresh,
Overflowing in beer crates,
Gaunt looks on every face,
Pale corpses,
Clasping my body,
Blue venom,
Faint vision,
Deep pools of dried up blood,
Am I the brand-new dead?
Someone was pulling me from behind,
Tying me down with twigs,
My breath was dying,
Red sweat beads & cooked skin,
I stooped,
The pulling stopped,
They were dancing naked,
Washing flesh afloat,
Down their throats,
Nibbling on spoils of creation?
Anointing me for an unworthy immolation?
Someone held a mirror up to me,
I can't see,
It can't be,
Last wish?
Before joining the list?
"Someone help me! Alive, someone left?"
Has Sandy come home yet?
Bips is flying tonight,
Someone is walking,
Over the rubble of death,
That has wrapped the naked earth,
I sunk in to hide myself,
Making my way in,
Falling down fast,
Oft,
Hitting something soft,
I shut my eyes and shrunk into almost nothing,
Someone is still searching,
The drumbeat is nearing,
Awfully clear,
Melancholy served, chilled and pure,
It’s pounding...Have I died?
A sudden silence ensued,
And then an earsplitting blast,
Awake!
Ghastly dream - thankfully lost,
Half eyes open and half shut,
Half alive,
The other half, of course, dead!
Festooned, to a wrecked ship's broken mast,
No one still home,
Darkness whispered,
She had a decayed breath,
Mourning over frozen death?
"Someone home?"
She said, "None",
"Please go away,I can't let you stay",
I uttered a scream,
And then a query,
"Did you drop a coin on the floor",
"What?”Replied Sandy,
He's home, Strangely!
Then a mumble violent,
Almost a war cry,
"Did you drop a new one-rupee coin on the floor in your room"
Silent nod, Confusion,
Can see no connection,
An unknown sadness,
My liberated madness,
"Yes, but you were in deep sleep and its just a tinkle!!”
My dying whisper said,"What? A tinkle of a dropped coin?
Can't be...It was a violent explosion!"

(I stay along with Sandy and Bips in Mumbai. This is about a dream I had a day after the July 11th blasts in Mumbai.)

Kill Me O' Brother!

Come here,
Come near my dear,
Let me feel your face,
Let me see if you are a human at all?
I wanna ask you,
Where from stems your hate for me,
Don't tell me your tall lies,
Don't give me your vicious smiles,
Do you know,
Not quite long ago,
We were blood brothers,
And now you want my blood, brother?
Ok, Common go ahead,
Kill me!
Go right ahead,
May be I'll give you some peace,
Atleast when I am beheaded.

Aftermath...2 days later

I could see Mumbai back to its bustling pace,
Right back to its mad race,
There was a strange stench in the air,
There still was fear,
But there was a false will to dare,
Yes, there were watery eyes and weak smiles,
and there was a loud eerie silence,
But there was a forlorn search for life between all those deaths,
I plucked some hope from this crowd,
'Get on with life', the message was clear and loud,
Then I took a cab and headed to a hospital,
Written on it's walls,
Was "Did he make it or did he not?",
Lists that told you that life, for some, was suddenly short,
I'll never know, the fear in those who glanced at these,
and that buried feeling of those who were slaughtered to eternal peace,
And then I saw,
White walls and white bedsheets,
Red blood and pale faces,
How I wish,
My memory could erase this dreadful picture,
My wounded heart could use some suture,
In mad fury,
I ran and ran till I banged into someone,
He shouted back, "ARE YOU BLIND?",
I mumbled, "Well I wish I really were",
"I just wanna feign that I really don't care",
Coz, Everyone seems resigned to fate,
Coz, Everyone is offering a phony fight.

11 / 7, Mumbai

My eyes are red and wet,
My mouth has gone dry,
My lines are so empty and my words are so hollow,
Its a bitter pill I have been forced to swallow,
Someone asks me how am I?
I am not dead but am not even alive,
Was it just a far off blast?
Only I know how its ripped open my heart,
Am I still brave? Am I not tired?
Am I to let these thorns prick me in my stride?
May be I' ll take a walk outside my mind,
May be I' ll have to walk yet another mile.

World of Madness

Fancy cars and credit cards,
Techie gizmos and coloured liquids,
Silicon chips and silicon flesh,
You go back late to a home so plush,
Endless work but workout centers?
Missing lunch breaks and the heart breaks over sensex,
Your woes on tax, you'll never relax,
Coz you think of money,
Even while you make love to your honey,
Welcome to the world of speed,
Welcome to the world of greed....

Our Story

Yesterday I was born,
Tomorrow I'll be dead and gone,
No one's gonna think of me, anymore,
I've been the same with'em, like many others before,
But it ain't the same, when it comes to us,
We've been through kisses and been through the fatal curse,
I've played my part in our wily game,
I've left you more than just my name,
So I hope, that when I die,
Etched in your memory, I'd never subside,
Forget me not, my only foe and friend,
Talk to me when I can't listen,
You'd hear me, even if I won't ever talk,
And I'd love you true, even if you can't love me back.

Unchained Slaves

Our endless greed,
that seems so right for a moment and so wrong the very next,
From it's womb our desire takes yet another birth,
We never send it right into the tomb, we never kill it to everlasting death,
We let it grow, play right into it's hands and begin many a quest,
How foolish is it when we look for water in the middle of a desert ?
"Isn't it meaningless?", no one even asks,
And dare to speak the truth no one really does,
Desire after desire brings back only the thirst,
We continue our false voyages under insane pretexts,
We run after nothing with youthful fervour and zest,
To conquer the unwanted we play our best shots,
Possessed by our desire, we do grow, but only smaller and smaller,
And shrink into unrecognisable emptiness,
We do end up winning, sometimes at last,
But don't we truly know, we are seeking joy at the saddest feast,
Even a candle that fondly burns,
Knows in the end to put off the fire on it's head,
But we continue to breath desire, through out the day and right through our bed,
As every next day drags into the night,
We kneel down not bothering to offer even a feeble fight,
With arms folded, eyes closed and the head hung in solemn prayer,
We grow afraid of our desire and yet fake being brave,
The truth though, is something all of us do know,
That we are hoping to find lasting comfort only in our grave.

Random Thoughts....

An abortion is when for a moment of your pleasure or may be your complete ignorance, someone else pays heavily, pays with an entire lifetime even before being born and not one so much as bothers to even acknowledge such a great sacrifice !

Why I ride a Bicycle to Office!!

Sounds funny to most of my friends and peers that I ride a bicycle to office. Infact I have been jeered at for doing so but I fail to understand why it is considered as lowering one's status. It does pain when I know that I have been laughed at for riding a bicycle, when riding means a lot to me.

It is hard to imagine why my friends who have also done thier MBAs can't do some simple calculations. If one looks at the system called organisation - it revolves around the concept of raising liability to create assets, (fixed or in this age of knowledge even human beings) which provide you value - or to point precisely they are called profits. Isn't that business or for that matter even our personal finance is all about? Let us see..

What does one get when one raises debt from the bank (debt is a liability!!) and buys a car (thats a fixed asset) and commutes daily in it. I forgot to add that current liability goes into buying fuel (assuming that one uses the credit card for buying the gas) and drivers pay if one engages a driver. What have you got on your current assets side - a portion of your salary. Car's EMI does shrink one's working capital right?? What do you finally get? - comfort (of intangible value) and status!!

How I wonder - times have changed a full circle - there was a day when owning assets was status. Now how much of liability you have and how much is your credit limit on the card is a symbol of status! Put simply owning a liability becomes status, while one's personal finance is bleeding!

Take my cycle now
1. Costed me Rs 2700/-. The asset was sweated in roughly 3 months time. I spend around Rs 800 p.m. on my conveyance to work.
2. More importantly I sweat myself - Lost a few kgs - and have a flat tummy (may not be as flat as that of Susmita or Aishwarya)
3. Reached office in 25 to 30 minutes on an average covering 11 kms. Sounds strange but my cycle moves at 25 kmph - no comfort lost owing to its sleek design and light weight.

As opposed to

Traveling by bus which means 45 minutes because it takes a longer route. Car or bike would mean a hit on my current assets. Not to mention the lack of physical exercise !
So what was so wrong in riding the bicycle? What status have I lost? I am definitely not interested in owning a car, which I really don't own because its bloody mortgaged to a goddamn bank which breaths down my neck every month for EMI !

A bicycle gives me a feeling of freedom, I don't feel claustrophobic when I sit on it coz I am connected with the world, there is no metal around me. It gives me pleasure, it gives me fun and I love riding it - well the brighter side, my dear bicycle gave others too a chance to laugh for a while even if it was to jeer at me!!

Organisations are like...

Organisations are like buses or may be trains or even flights. They are going from one place to another. But you may not be going all along from the start to the end. You get in somewhere, you get out somewhere and catch another bus or train or may be a flight. Changing buses is like changing organisations. Your destination is elsewhere, it might not even be the destination of any of these buses, but they let you travel with them and let you get down at important junctures where you can find another connecting mode of transport. Changing seats in the same bus may be a change of assignment, transfer or a promotion or sometimes even a demotion. Changing compartments is like a cross functional shift. Mind you, if you don't pay for the ticket i.e. if you don't perform, they'll throw you out and you might end up at a place where finding another bus would get really tougher!!

My friend Sabya says

Life is like a cup of tea that you sip to find too bitter… but don’t bother enough to fetch you a few cubes of sugar. You continue to sip and finally find un-dissolved sugar at the bottom of the cup. All you then do is lament or may be just sport a wry smile at nothing…

Random Thoughts Again

The world is like a tiny puddle of rainwater. As you pass by, you just manage to notice may be the dirt in it. If you care to stay and take a closer look, you will find insects in it swimming around creating tiny lovely ripples. If you take a deeper look you will find your reflection and feel like a happy child... and as you continue to gaze through, you see the sun and the sky surrounding it, all the beauty of nature packaged for you in one tiny puddle. But wait....do you see just the dirt or do you bother to see yourself and the beauty surrounding you? Its all there to be seen but would you strain your eyes a little more?

Through Ups & Downs...

Today nothing seems to have given up its existence,
and nothing seems to change, come whatever happens,
Here I smell your sweet fragrance...
& there I am surrounded by thick darkness...
Now I listen to your voice for endless moments..
& then I hear tunes of utter silence..
Today it seems to be your warm presence...
& tomorrow it may be sad thoughts of your blatant absence..
Sometimes I am alone, without you...
Sometimes I am alone, even when I am with you...