I was travelling from Vizag to Hyderbad yesterday and I happened to be fortunate to have a good looking air hostess (All airhostesses are good looking??) on board.To my dismay, (although it was amazement before the whole scene between us ended) I found that she was once upon a time a graduate in statistics from Calcutta. ..Bong babe!! "Amaar Jibon, Tumaar Chorone Utshargo Korlam" I hummed a bong song.."I prostrate My life at your feet!!"
After the ritual of announcements, I approached the woman and tried to strike a conversation. Incidentally she happened to be a Hyderabadi for a while,(I assumed she was still a resident of Hyderabad) & further probing into details fetched me her phone number, although,the statistician that she was, she handed over her number with a sweet small whispered phrase,"Its just an estimate". And carried forward to her seat, cabin, cockpit, whatever...Now, thought I, I missed out on the vital statistics!!! err..Dont misinterpret me, Its the address of hers that I am talking about, turning the estimate to the actual phone number could easily be possible with the correct address.
Disappointed, I was, and grabbed the newspaper to find a statement by an eminent politician in the state of Andhra that he would strive to bring the income of every individual in the state to an above average level. Hmmm...great expectations, I thought. Then the engineer part of my brain told me, "How can everyone be above average!!No matter how much the increase be, the minimum and maximum do exist for arriving at an average." Cow Herd mentality, every dumb ass gives the same statement without understanding the implications!!I took pride for a second in being an engineer and then I thought now that I am manager, atleast I make believe so, How does statistics help me, if it does at all. Most of the decisions that I take are based on a proven track record, If this happened with that, 99 times it will happen the 100th time as well!! 95% confidence level Boss this would happen...5% is to avoid getting fired.
Hold, I am getting into theory now.I heard my Boss say a lot of times "It's not the "figures" themselves,. It's what you do with them that matters.'' How true!! Let me do...So I got back to the phone number adventure, With the breakfast that the woman served me, re"VITAL"sed was I. and bang I went for finding out the address of hers after she had finished serving. The probability that I would get the address of any woman by asking her directly is ZERO, in India, and especially those who are with Indian Airlines. I dared to dream!! and increase the probability by a 10 to the power minus 100 at least. I asked her rather indirectly "where do you stay in Hyderabad when you are in the city?"...
Lo & Behold!!Comes the answer "Indian Airlines flight number xxxx"& a smile although to say, "You are too young for these tricks." I concluded while she bid me good bye at Hyderabad after the flight landed. "Statistics (& Statisticians as well)... reveals crap and conceals what I want..err..recall the phone number incident to avoid getting me wrong."
Another sad day in my life :-(
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