Vamshi-my name & my chinese notebook of thoughts, my meaningless poems written in red sketch and pasted on the walls along side my crooked drawings of the unknown girl's face , The box guitar which I can't play and the flute that though never played likes me only because I carry its name, the guitar or the flute tutor whom probably I ll never meet, The tumbler for my morning litre of water, & my morning's share of cold raw milk drunk from the packet itself, & the missing breakfast in my life, the lonely jog at the sea and the sand and shells which awfully smell at my home, My trips into my 4 almost empty rooms and life with this new found home..
My Compaq Presario and, the feeling we both are inseperable, the computer & me...Rafi, Kishore, Mukesh, Lata, Simon & Garfunkel, Pink Floyd, Doors, Ghulam Ali, Jagjit, Gult, Tamil & Bengali sangeet, Scent of a woman, Rain Man, Life is beautiful, Sholay, Forrest Gump, that follow.. My liking for Microsoft Excel...the exhausting music & movie collection which I cant completely polish off in my life and the hundreds of books on the shelf that cant be read either... in my life ever and my efforts to conquer these myths!
The ball room dances for bitter sweet symphony although alone fill my room wih delight so unknown....The all new Fast Track watch bought in an exchange offer and the craving for the old watch that made me procure it back again...Rabindranaths Gitanjali ...never opened though! The chess board on which a game was played quite long ago.. infact 3 chess boards ...the dreams about cooking for myself and the plate in which food was consumed quite seldom..the Iron box that rarely pressed a piece of cloth..The letters to my mom which were never posted and the inspiring notes for the 15 month old niece in all languages known to me and the painful fact that she is just too young to read or comprehend..The har jeb mein rang Nokia.. the first 100 I drew from my first salary account, and this "Idea" mobile connection that could well change my expenditure exorbitantly every month just under the "Phones Head".
& The bank balance thats always duly nil on the 29th of every month. the cheap pendant dangling down my neck in fond memory of a dear friend ...The rare Sundays that are not spent at work and the desire for sunday mornings to be spent all alone on the unnamed hill tops with no shirt on while sweat drips from my every pore.....and my lavish buffets at Taj that never give me the same feeling of sumptousness like the cheap food at the road side motel and the cheap matka kulfi of probably the only paaji at Vizag that ensues my every dinner, the unneccessary collection of the identical kulfi pots at home,
The mast garam elachi chai or the black coffee both devoid of saccharine to soar my spirits ...& the occasional cheap beedi that I furtively smoke...the greatest liking for Chocolate Mousse...the new born awakening desire for bottles of Aqua Fina with mouthful of raw ginger on the rare saturday free evenings. The mattress & the pillow that get used only for 4 to 5 hours a day, & all the furniture thats so blatantly missing at home, missing lillies in my lone balcony, My irritating busy ness in someone else's business and yet the motivation that says duniya hiladenge hum kabhi na kabhi...
Genuine Jockey, XLRI T shirts, Wardrobe of Peter England light weights, The white kurta that I want to wear and the photograph that I want to take of mine while chewing gud meeta pan, The fond for the color blue and my everyday's search for something new, The woman who washes my clothes everyday & cleans my home but for her weeklyoff and the longingness to see her atleast once in my life actually working..
Slip Ons and Nike Joggers, Ganuchi & Cherry Blossom which are never easily found when required, and the company bus horns that are so impatient at me in the morning..the office keys I always forget and the spare key in my colleagues room that always rescues ...the lock of my home that keeps missing at crucial periods... the fond paragon chappal which never leave home, the suitcase packed with dreams for the unknown journeys to pretty much unknown destinations and all the unconfirmed tickets I always travel on.... my boss's lack of concern for my "losing" time in the train travel !..
Colgate Total, Vicco Vajrdanti,Axe effect, park avenue Sabun.. my Gillette collection that never will change in my life coz the beard is too slow in growing big, the lone mirror at the wash basin, the very short hair and the hair-gels longingness for its utilisation and the cold water from the showers in the bathrooms that I dread yet sustain becoz of my oblivion for buying a heater and then my question when will this bottle of shampoos gonna finish! The plain glasses bought for fashion and the shyness to wear them that keeps them only at home.The efforts that I make to pump in energy into the else would be a lonely bored life. Efforts fail but atleast the boredom dosent remain. Lifez a journey not a destination, destinations are a boredom but journeys aint so...but what if the journey itself is the destination like in case of nomads!!
